NoPMO - Overcoming Porn addiction
True, Porn addiction is an ever-growing problem, but the brain can change. It can be defeated if you want to.
As we saw previously (E1, E2) Porn addiction is, even though not scientifically recognized, an existing problem many face daily. Like with any addiction, consumers know the bad effects of watching it, however, the craving often beats the mind. It’s similar to a famous story Socrates told.
Leontios, a Greek statesman, was on his way up to another city. Arriving, he saw executed men lying in the streets. He wanted to look at the bodies, but at the same time, he felt disgusted and held himself back. Leontios struggled and covered his eyes. Then desire got the better of him. He rushed over to where the bodies were, and forced his eyes wide open, saying "There you are, there is your will. Have a really good look. Isn’t it a lovely sight?"
The same accounts for many porn addicts I’ve talked to, too often the urge just is too strong for them.
How to avoid Leontios mistake
Ironically, his initial reaction was the right one. But there is another step before tackling addiction. Considering porn, the first step therefore should be:
Acknowledge you got a Porn Problem
Should sound simple, but actually many struggle with acknowledging this. Porn is a supernatural stimulus, getting addicted is a quick process - but you need to fight back.
If you acknowledged that you need to quit, you already have made progress. Every journey starts with the first step.
Mindset
Define your why? and write it down. Also, make sure you truly get how evil porn is. Try to lock porn out of your life as if it never existed.
The good thing is, there are scientific studies, like discussed in E2, prooving the bad influence porn has on the brain and yourself.
Cover your eyes
To keep the metaphor going. What it means is:
delete all the material, magazines, and apps you have
install blockers on all of your devices (e.g BlockerX)
delete every browser and similar, very extreme I know but this was the only way that worked for me.
Try to combine them.
Accountability
This can be a friend, app developers (BlockerHero has that option), or an internet NoPMO forum or group. You should feel ashamed writing them that you relapsed. This is extreme and not needed for people seeking to reduce their time consuming the footage but heavy addicts.
Implementing those steps takes time, however, it is the only way to even make an extreme addict quit. Trust me, I’ve been there. If you just want to reduce your porn usage, try implementing some but not every step, but more to that later.
Now, if you wanted to delete porn out of your life for quite some time, chances are you’ve came across more tips. Most of them are socializing, trigger avoidance, and activities.
However, this only accounts for people seeking to reduce their porn usage, not people wanting to quit a cruel addiction. Let’s take avoiding triggers for instance. It is simply impossible for someone actively smoking for years to not smoke when he is in an environment he used to smoke in. The same goes for porn, just the other way around. Meaning, that no matter how much you socialize and try to avoid triggers, there will be moments you will get triggered. Keeping one busy by sport, going outside, writing or anything else also can not fill out your whole day, and even if, it can not fill your week. Most will end up watching porn sooner or later. This doesn’t mean neglecting newly found activities and not socializing, the opposite actually is the case.
With you being unable to consume porn, it just doesn’t matter when you get triggered.
Withdrawal symtoms
A 2018 study looked into what porn addicts often experience after quitting.
“These symptoms generally include impaired control, preoccupation, craving, [porn] use as a dysfunctional coping mechanism, withdrawal, tolerance, distress about use, functional impairment, and continued use despite negative consequences”
Especially the last point “continued use despite negative consequences”, is distressing. Many NoFap forums’ advice is wrong. All too often it is presented as relapsing wouldn’t be a problem but rather a natural part of the journey. Let’s imagine our smoker again. He didn’t smoke for a week, but somehow the cravings were too strong and he smoked again. Now, there are just two options. Either, 1) he is disappointed in himself and his mood is down for the next couple of hours, he can’t stop thinking about how dumb he just was. Or 2) from chatting in forums he heard that this is natural and not a big deal, and - the day is over anyway as he already smoked so why not smoke again? One of the two ways is going to work, he is going to quit and look back at his addiction in disgust, which option do you think it is? The same applies for quitting porn.
This means that if you fail, consider it as a setback. Do not play it down or you’ll get back into the addiction cycle. To speak in the last newsletters’ language: the railroads are deserted but they can be reanimated at any time. Continue in your journey, no matter how hard it is.
Benefits of abstention
“The righteous will be rewarded with prosperity”
Or as the study “The Pornography “Rebooting” Experience: A Qualitative Analysis of Abstinence Journals on an Online Pornography Abstinence Forum“ found; “Members who persisted with abstinence typically found abstinence to be a rewarding experience and reported a range of perceived benefits which they attributed to abstaining from pornography.”
Unequivocal, there are tons of benefits from doing NoPMO, such as clearer thinking, no more erectile dysfunction, and more - but the best reward probably is you glowing up as a character and person.
If you follow the four steps mentioned above, implement trigger avoidance, activities, as well as socializing in your daily schedule, and deal with setbacks the proper way, porn has no chance!