How to beat your porn addiction
True, Porn addiction is an ever-growing problem, but the brain can change. It can be defeated if you want to.
As we saw previously (E1 & E2) Porn addiction is, even though not scientifically recognized, an existing problem many face daily. Like with any addiction, consumers know the effects of watching it, however, the craving often beats the mind. It’s similar to a famous story Socrates told.
Leontios, a Greek statesman, was on his way up to another city. Arriving, he saw executed men lying in the streets. One part of him wanted to look at the bodies, but at the same time, he felt disgusted and held himself back. Leontios struggled and covered his eyes. Then desire got the better of him. He rushed over to where the bodies lay, and forced his eyes wide open, saying "There you are, there is your will. Have a look. Isn’t it a lovely sight?"
The same accounts for many porn addicts I’ve talked to, too often the urge just is too strong for them even though they want to abstain from porn.
How to avoid Leontios’ mistake
Ironically, his initial reaction was the right one. But there is another step before tackling addiction. Considering porn, the first step therefore should be:
Acknowledge you got a Porn Problem
Should sound simple, but actually many struggle with acknowledging this. Porn is a supernatural stimulus, getting addicted is a quick process - but you need to fight back.
If you acknowledged that you need to quit, you already have made progress. Every journey starts with the first step.
Mindset
Define your why? and write it down. Also, make sure you truly get how evil porn is. Try to lock porn out of your life as if it never existed.
The good thing is, there are scientific studies, like discussed in E2, proving the bad influence porn has on the brain and yourself.
Cover your eyes
What do I mean?
delete all the material, magazines, and apps you have
install blockers on all of your devices (e.g BlockerX)
delete every browser and internet access, very extreme, but this was the only way that worked for the addicted me.
Try to combine them.
Accountability
Your accountability partner can be a friend, app developers (BlockerHero has that option), or an internet NoFap forum or group. You should feel ashamed writing them that you relapsed. This is extreme and not necessary for people seeking to reduce their time consuming porn, but rather heavy addicts.
Implementing those steps takes time, however, it is the only way to even make an extreme addict like me quit. Trust me, I’ve been there. If you just want to reduce your porn usage, try implementing steps, but more to that later.
Now, if you wanted to “delete” porn out of your life for quite some time, chances are you’ve came across more advice. Most of them are: socializing, trigger avoidance, and activities.
However, these tips only accounts for people seeking to reduce their porn usage, not people wanting to quit a cruel addiction. Let’s take avoiding triggers for instance.
It is simply impossible for someone actively smoking for years to not smoke when he is in an environment he used to smoke in. The same goes for porn, just the other way around. Meaning, that no matter how much you socialize and try to avoid triggers, there will be moments you will get triggered. Keeping one busy by sport, going outside, writing or anything else also can not fill out your whole day, and even if, it can not fill your week. Most will end up watching porn sooner or later. This doesn’t mean neglecting newly found activities and not socializing, the opposite actually is the case.
With you being unable to consume porn, it just doesn’t matter when you get triggered. Make sure to stay subscribed, as the next episode is going to be all about triggers!
Withdrawal symtoms
A 2018 study looked into what porn addicts often experience after quitting.
“These symptoms generally include impaired control, preoccupation, craving, [porn] use as a dysfunctional coping mechanism, withdrawal, tolerance, distress about use, functional impairment, and continued use despite negative consequences”
Especially the last point “continued use despite negative consequences”, is distressing. Many NoFap forums’ advice is wrong. All too often relapsing is presented as it wouldn’t be a problem but rather a natural part of the journey. Wrong.
Let’s imagine our chain-smoker again. He did manage to not smoke for a week, but somehow the cravings took over him and he smoked again. Now, he faces two options. Either, 1) he is disappointed and his mood is drawn down for the next couple of hours, he can’t stop thinking about how dumb he just was.
Or 2)he thinks that this is natural and not a big deal, and - the day is “over” anyway as he already smoked, so why not smoke again? I actually have to smile reading that sentence again, as it describes how I thought after relapsing to porn once again.
One of the two ways is going to work, he is going to quit and look back at his addiction in disgust. Which option do you think it is? The same applies for quitting porn.
This means that if you fail, consider it as a setback. Do not play it down or you will get back into the addiction cycle. To speak in the last newsletters’ language: the railroads are deserted but they can be reanimated at any time. Continue in your journey, no matter how hard it is.
Benefits of abstention
“The righteous will be rewarded with prosperity”
Or as the study ““The Pornography “Rebooting” Experience: A Qualitative Analysis of Abstinence Journals on an Online Pornography Abstinence Forum““ found;
“Members who persisted with abstinence typically found abstinence to be a rewarding experience and reported a range of perceived benefits which they attributed to abstaining from pornography.”
Unequivocal, there are tons of benefits from abstaing masturbation and porn, such as clearer thinking, no more erectile dysfunction, and more - but the best reward probably is you glowing up as a character and person.
If you follow the four steps mentioned above, implement trigger avoidance, activities, as well as socializing in your daily schedule, and deal with setbacks the proper way, porn has no chance!