Porn is just a Symptom, not the Cause

Coping, a lack of understading and why the virgin-rate is skyrocketing.

You read that right. Your pornography addiction runs deeper than dopamine, liking nude women, or bad habits. Half a year ago, I would not have agreed with this by any means. Not because I was addicted, but because, for me, my porn addiction was something like an accident. The evil porn industry manipulated my brain, and there I was—binging for the fourth time a day. And while all of that is true, the explanation is not that simple.

Addiction is Coping

In psychology, there is a reoccurring theme in addiction therapy. It argues that the root for an addiction, which is no more than a bad habit repeated over and over again until it becomes compulsive, is coping with something negative. This, however, does not mean that you are depressed or have any other psychological problems, especially when we speak about porn addiction. My life was, and thankfully is, all good when I became addicted. There were no problems. Except one. As a teenager in puberty, my sex drive was going crazy (which is natural), yet I had no idea on how to deal with it except jerking-off, to relief some pressure temporarily. On some days, multiple times even.

I had three options back then, and so do you today. Unfortunately for me, I only knew the worst one of them. It was, as already said, masturbating to porn whenever I felt the need to do so (which was quite often). While with every time, the urge-driven habit developed into a crippling addiction. What could have prevented that?

Both other options could have. The first one is getting a girlfriend. Sounds simple and actually is not that hard if you just groom yourself and stop looking like a coomer. More to that in another episode. If I would have had a girlfriend at that time, I not only would have had a loving partner to share deep memories with, but also a healthy way to blow off steam. What may sound like me recommending you to go and get a girl only for your sexual gratification, will self-explain to you once you find real love.

The other option I had, no one told me about, was channeling my overactive sexual energy into something meaningful. The author Napoleon Hill called this “sexual transmutation” and referred to it as an essential cornerstone on the path to becoming rich. The nowadays mostly forgotten technique wants you to channel the sexual energy you have into something else, like painting, writing, or sports. Instead of watching porn to blow off steam, go to the gym and achieve the same. Yet, with the difference of the latter one being positive for your body and mind. Knowing this technique earlier could have saved me from my addiction, and it can save you! Semen retention goes in a similar direction and is more commonly known.

Back to the coping part. You watch porn and jerk-off because you need to cope with being single and know of no other way to get rid of the urge. The rest is a cycle hard to break free of. The more you watch porn and masturbate, the less likely you are to find a girlfriend or listen to other approaches like sexual transmutation. The more time passes the more you get addicted, while simultaneously growing in frustration over being single and so on.

What to do then?

Well, guide your sexual energy into something else, in the ideal case something productive even. Understand it as a gift of great power, not as something you need to get rid of by masturbating. Then, look for a girlfriend. No one wants to live in celibacy, so you better live up to your sexual expectations instead of imagining something while watching porn. That is it, really. Try this for 90 days, and you will look back, smile and be unrecognizable.

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Implement these steps and your life will change. Share this article with a friend you want to know these alternatives to masturbating and watching porn. You could change his life aswell. Next weeks article will be on Gen Z and their porn addiction. So stay stuned and - as always - stay clean!