Why did I relapse again?

On how to identify your triggers to stop relapsing over and over again.

First off, you may have questioned why there was a break of a few weeks without any articles. There were multiple reasons for this, and I do not want to bother you with pesky details. Matter of fact, I worked on this project even though I did not publish. there will be weekly articles from now on again! Also, stay tuned for what I have coming in the next months.

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Picture this; you are lying in bed, scrolling through social media when suddenly a massive urge hits you. You give in, watch porn, and jerk off. Discouraged and ashamed you ask yourself how this could happen again.

If this scenario seems somewhat realistic to you, this is for you! Avoid relapsing by consequently eliminating the root cause behind your PMO addiction. Triggers.

What even are triggers?

Everybody knows this unique childhood scent. The moment you smell it, a wave of calm washes over you, and your mind fills with images of serene, joyful times spent outdoors with friends. In this case, the trigger clearly is the unique scent, leading to a mental reaction (remembering) followed by serotonin and dopamine hits (the memory makes you calm and happy).

Coming to porn addiction and compulsive masturbation, identifying triggers can be a lot harder. They do not come as a distinct smell, but rather in underlying behaviors we do not even realize. Most importantly, they vary from person to person. That is why there is no such thing as a blueprint I can hand you. You need to identify them on your own, by testing, observing, and then adjusting. For further clarification, here is my definition of a trigger:

In general, a trigger is something perceived by one or more of our five senses, leading to a certain reaction in our body.

Cue-induced cravings and trigger chains

Now, what does this headline mean? "Cue-induced cravings" basically is the scientific term for a reaction to a certain factor. Trigger chains, in difference, zoom out more than cue-induced cravings do. They give you the bigger picture.

Here is what I mean:

If your approach is a cue-induced craving method only, your conclusion probably would be that the single social media post was the reason for you to relapse. Maybe you would also see a problem in the usage of social media in itself. With the trigger-chain system however, you will realize that the single post was not the problem. You having nothing to do after work and turning to social media as a form of cheap entertainment is the real reason you relapsed.

The cue-induced method would draw its consequences by unsubscribing to the model's socials, whose picture triggered you. The trigger-chain approach wants you to look for something to (ful-)fill your time after work. Be it hanging out with some friends or even something productive, such as picking up on tennis again. Which method is more likely to prevent future setbacks?

The main reason for your relapse arguably is that triggers are seemingly everywhere. Or, as an expert wrote:

“Porn triggers are all around us. We live in a hyper-sexualized society.“

In this hyper-sexualized society, unsubscribing to a few social media accounts just is not enough. It is like a drip on a hot stone. The only solution to this is to eliminate the problem by its roots.

I know by experience, escaping triggers is hard. Yet, you can make massive progress in a single week if you just do the following. Use the input you gained today and start identifying what triggers you. Watch yourself for the next week, as this process takes self-awareness and the ability to reflect on one's choices, but it is worth it. And perhaps most importantly, act upon your findings. Identifying indeed is the first important step, but practically worthless if you do not consequently eliminate what you found. I believe in you.

Do not forget to send this post to your accountability partner, so he can start identifying his triggers too!